


A Ruff Few Days

by shrill_fangirl_screaming



Series: all the stony au oneshots [10]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Dog!Steve, M/M, pet brains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 15:46:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2627264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrill_fangirl_screaming/pseuds/shrill_fangirl_screaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's brain is replaced with that of a dog. Hilarity and shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Ruff Few Days

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Purrsonal Catastrophe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1874928) by [Wordsplat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordsplat/pseuds/Wordsplat). 



The whole of Avengers Tower was woken by the sounds of Klaxon bells and sirens indicating that there was someone in the Tower who shouldn’t be there.

“Dammit,” Tony mumbled from where he was happily cocooned in blankets before throwing them off and suiting up. “All right, everyone, what do we have?” he asked into his comm as he strode down hallways.

Jarvis was the first to reply. “An unknown presence was registered approximately two minutes ago in Captain America’s quarters.”

“How’d he get in?” Natasha asked.

“He simply appeared,” Jarvis replied, his voice mimicking his creator’s disgust and disdain for magic. “I have no data placing him near an entrance or an exit.”

“Where is he now?” Clint pressed.

There was silence for a moment as if Jarvis didn’t really want to answer, but he eventually did. “Gone,” he said, “I no longer have data on his life signs.”

Tony stopped dead in the hallway he was running down. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Despite Jarvis’s assurances that the presence was indeed no longer in the Tower, all the Avengers still met up in Steve’s room. The man had woken up when the alarm went off, but he was still sleep-mussed and in pajamas. He was, however, still in possession of ten fingers and ten toes, and he seemed completely fine.

Frustrated, all the Avengers went back to bed.

So none of them saw the flash of green light encircling Steve’s head a few hours later.

 

Tony was dragged from slumber for the second time that night- see what he gets from actually trying to sleep like a normal person- by a super-soldier crawling onto his bed. Under normal circumstances, he might not be opposed to this turn of events, but Steve was regrettably fully clothed and it was five forty-five. AM.

Steve crawled on top of him, knees and hands digging into Tony’s spleen, to breathe into Tony’s face. “Let’s go outside!” he whispered. “I wanna go outside!”

“It’s early,” Tony moaned, “I don’t want to.”

Steve’s huge blue eyes got right up next to his. “Pleeeeeeeease?”

Dammit. “I realize Fury gave you the make-Tony-a-normal-human misson,” he said, throwing the covers off, “But you picked a hell of a time to try and fill it.”

Steve crawled back off the bed and was wiggling with excitement. “We’re gonna go outside!” he said happily. “Yay yay yay!”

Pulling pants on, Tony replied. “Calm down, Captain Cheerful. Let’s go.”

Steve grabbed his hand and dragged him out the nearest exit and onto the New York sidewalk. It was a cold, grey sort of morning with a few pedestrians rushing hurriedly from one block to another. Once outside, Steve seemed perfectly content to stare happily at passersby and at the overcast sky above.

“Where do you want to go, Captain?” Tony asked, gesturing expansively at the world around them.

Steve looked around, grinning happily, before replying. “Central Park!” he exclaimed, and pulled Tony off to just there.

Tony was, to be fully honest, afraid he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the super-soldier’s enhanced strength and endurance, but not only was Central Park just a few blocks away but Steve seemed to be pacing himself. He’d run maybe a block or so, leaving Tony panting behind him, but then he’d stop to look at some pedestrian or storefront and wait for Tony to catch up.

Once at the nearly-deserted Central Park, though, all bets were off.

Tony was happy to sit on a park bench and mess around with the Iron Man armor on his phone while Steve ran in big circles in an open space.

“This is awesome!” Tony heard him shout from across the park. Tony shot him a thumbs-up.

After a few minutes, Steve raced up to him with a tennis ball in hand. “Look what I found!” he said breathlessly, “I found a _ball_.”

Did Steve get into his coffee or something? Tony thought as he carefully took the ball from Steve. Steve looked at him expectantly. Tony looked right back.

“Throw it,” Steve eventually said, nodding a little. “I wanna play fetch.”

“Catch?” Tony asked.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, sure, that.”

“You’re in a weirdly good mood,” Tony said to himself, but threw the tennis ball anyway. Steve bounded after it, blond hair bouncing as he chased it down. When he retrieved it, Tony held up his hand to catch the ball, but Steve ran back instead and placed the ball carefully in Tony’s hand. “I am fully capable of catching it, you know,” Tony said.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, but it’s more fun to run it back.”

“You have a lot of energy today,” said Tony, but he threw the ball again anyway.

He thought the super-soldier would bore of this game after a little while, but he kept running after the ball and bringing it back for a solid half an hour. Tony managed to actually get some work done in-between throws.

After a while, Steve walked back with the tennis ball and, instead of placing it in Tony’s hand, dropped it on the ground. He threw himself onto the bench beside Tony, panting happily. “Did you have fun?” Tony asked, absentmindedly running his fingers through Steve’s blond hair.

“Yeah,” he said. “So much fun. Let’s go home.”

The abrupt mood shift was a little odd, but Tony was happy enough to go. It had been threatening to rain the whole time they were out and he was pretty sure a few drops had hit him while he’d been playing fetch with Steve.

This time, Steve didn’t run ahead. He was content to hold Tony’s hand- something Steve had instigated, for clarity- and walk calmly by his side, staring at random passersby with his big blue eyes.

So everything was going fine until the Noachian deluge.

Okay, so maybe “Noachian deluge” may have been a bit of an exaggeration on Tony’s part, but the heavens opened and both Tony and Steve got soaked as they tried to run back to Avengers Tower as quickly as they could.

 

They were back in the tower at seven o’clock, so most of the Avengers were already milling about in the kitchen, frying eggs and drinking coffee. Jarvis conveniently told them that a very much soaked Steve and Tony were approaching, so Natasha was waiting by the door from them, a steaming mug of tea in one hand and thick, fluffy towels in the other.

“Don’t say I never did anything for you,” Natasha said, dropping the towels with a smirk on her face.

Steve lit up when he saw her. “Natasha!” he shouted and raced over to her. She only avoided a soaking-wet hug due to her impressive reflexes. It didn’t deter Steve too much, though, who just grinned at her as he dripped onto the carpet.

She pointed to the towels. “You get a hug once you’re dry.”

He nodded and proceeded to shake his entire body vigorously, much to Tony’s delight and Natasha’s horror as flecks of water covered the entire room. “You gave him coffee, didn’t you,” Natasha said, whirling on Tony. “We have told you, you make it strong enough that even Thor and Steve are affected by it, it could kill an elephant, how many fucking times have we told you-“

“I didn’t!” Tony said. “Well, I may have left my coffeepot laying around-“

“Jesus Christ,” Natasha interrupted, “Now we have a hyper supersoldier. Thanks.” She probably would have kept yelling at him too, but Steve, still soaking wet, finally managed to get his arms around Natasha’s waist and hug.

Her face turned murderous even as Steve grinned happily into her neck and said, “Natashatashatashatasha you’re my favorite person in the whole tower!”

“What about me?” Tony asked, toweling his hair.

Steve released a bemused and slightly mollified Natasha to race over to Tony and seize him in a hug. “You’re my favorite person too! All of you are my favorite person!”

Natasha held out her shirt from her body with two fingers, staring at it with disgust. “You deal with the caffeinated captain, I’m going to go change my shirt.”

“Bet Clint likes it how it is!” Tony shouted as she walked away, and was rewarded with two middle fingers. Grinning, he turned back to Steve. “I think she’s planning on killing me in my sleep later.”

Steve looked at him with suddenly sad eyes. “She’s gonna kill you?”

“She’s gonna try,” Tony replied, drawing the last word out like a child. “I’m ready for her.”

Needless to say, he wasn’t ready for her. As was his custom, he’d passed out in the workshop around midday, face mushed into a wrench and drool dripping out of the corner of his mouth. Steve had been down in the workshop too, playing with Dummy, but he had long since curled up into a ball on the sofa.

There was a rustle across the room. Steve woke up, head popping into the air with instantly-alert eyes. He and Natasha stared at each other for a long second before she smiled at him and whispered, “Quiet.” Steve laid his head back on the pillow and Natasha added, “Good boy,” causing Steve to grin happily.

Fifty-seven seconds later, Tony was on the floor yelling like a child, Natasha was wearing her most self-satisfied smirk, and Steve was looking back and forth between them.

“What the _fuck_ , Natasha,” Tony shouted for the tenth time.

Natasha shook her head at him. “You knew this was coming, Stark, don’t play coy with me.”

Tony gaped at her for a second because, of course, she was right. Needing to yell but unable to yell at her, he whirled on Steve and shouted, “And why didn’t you warn me she was there?”

Steve hanged his head and looked up at Tony with wide, pity-me eyes. “She told me to be quiet.”

“So you just did?” Tony asked.

The other man deflated even further. “I’m sorry. I screwed up. I betrayed you. I’ll move out in the morning. I’m so sorry. I’m an embarassment. Literally the worst.”

Tony let out a frustrated sigh because Jesus Christ, now he couldn’t yell at either of them. “Dammit, Steve, that’s not- fuck, I’m just frustrated, it’s okay, it’s no big deal, please stop looking at me like I just kicked your puppy, we’re still friends.”

Steve looked at Tony for another second before lighting up and leaping on Tony. “I’ll never do anything bad ever again you’re my best friend best friend!” he shouted while licking Tony’s face.

Natasha snorted and said, “I think I’ll leave you boys to it then,” before sliding into an air vent and out of sight.

“Um,” Tony said in a voice rather higher than he intended, “What’s with the licking, Steve, that’s new, right?”

Steve, now in his lap, looked up at him earnestly. “I just really like you, Tony.”

“I really like you too, Steve,” Tony replied. Was this actually happening? He’d been crushing on Captain America since he was old enough to read the comics and in love with the man since they fought off an alien invasion- was it actually possible that American-as-apple-pie Steve Rogers was gay? And into him?

Still grinning broadly, Steve nuzzled his face into Tony’s neck. “You’re my best friend.”

Tony’s stomach sank. “Yeah, you too.”

After dinner, they all converged in the living room for a movie night. “I always feel so Brady Bunch when we’re all watching movies,” Nat says cheerfully as she shoves in Bruce’s favorite rom-com. “It’s so weird.”

Steve, who had been busy cleaning up the leftovers and chewing the chicken bones- apparently even Thor’s supersize portions weren’t quite enough for a supersolider- appeared out of nowhere and threw himself over the three of them sitting on the couch. “Movies movies movies!”

Nat, who had supersolider feet in her lap, turned to Tony. “You keep slipping him caffeine and I’m going to start stealing things you love.”

“Wasn’t me!” Tony protested through a mouthful of blond supersoldier hair.

She whirled on Clint, who pointed to Tony, who pointed right back at Clint. “Whatever,” she said, settling her hands on Steve’s ankles. “Steve will probably holler at you himself once he calms down.”

They all looked over at where Steve was currently butting his head under Tony’s head. “Pet me,” he demanded.

Tony obligingly ran his hands through Steve’s hair. “He seems fine to me.”

Bruce shifted uncomfortably, lap full of torso. “A bit friendlier than usual.”

“You guys are my best friends,” Steve said, voice muffled as his face was buried in Tony’s stomach.

Thor looked up, affronted, from the armchair across the room. “What about me?”

“You too,” Steve said.

Thor grinned. “Okay. As long as that’s clear.”

“And Clint, and Jane, and Darcy, and Coulson, and Fury, and everyone.”

Nat glared at Tony. “Please do not corrupt the benevolent soul of our national icon.”

“I signed a contract to that effect, didn’t I? With SHIELD, when you all moved in?” Tony asked.

Steve butted into his hand. “Pet. Me.”

“Jeez, sorry,” Tony said, curling his fingers around Steve’s hair. Steve hummed happily. “All right, let’s movie it up.”

 

A few days later, Steve walked downstairs with haunted eyes. Tony was already up, chugging coffee and rubbing bleary eyes with most of the team making breakfast.

“You have ruined me,” Tony said, shaking a finger at him. “Yeah, the early morning walks, that was a ploy to get me to a normal sleeping schedule. I woke up at EIGHT this morning, Steve, this is ungodly. Un-American. Horrifying.”

“None of you noticed,” Steve said dully.

Nat turned to him from her sliced fruit. “Noticed what?”

“I was a dog. For a week. And all you thought was that Tony or Clint were slipping me caffeine when no one was looking.”

Tony furrowed his brow. “You weren’t a dog. I remember. You were a person. A person who kept _hauling me out of bed at ungodly hours of the morning_.”

“Like a dog,” Steve added.

“Well, son of a bitch,” Tony said, swallowing another half a mug of coffee. The tense silence lasted a moment longer, then-

Clint fell to the ground laughing. A few second later, Natasha started giggling, and Thor started belly-laughing, and soon the entire Tower was shaking with the entire team laughing their asses off.

“We didn’t even notice!” Tony shrieked through the mirth.

Steve even managed a few chuckles. “I don’t know how, I kept rubbing my face into people and demanding to be petted. Does that sound like me?”

Thor let out a mighty guffaw before choking out, “Tony didn’t notice, so-“

“What does Tony have to do with any of this?” Steve asked.

Nat and Thor traded a look. “Well,” she said slowly, “We figured something was up, but, uh, Tony didn’t say anything was up, so we figured-“

“Doesn’t matter,” Bruce cut in smoothly. “Glad you’re back.”

Steve grabbed half a grapefruit. “None of you even noticed.”

Tony finished his fourth cup of coffee and said, “Well, I’m out, I’m going to go to the workshop and bye.”

He dashed off.

Steve looked after him. “Wonder what that was all about.”

“Well,” Clint said, drawing the word out beyond its allotted one syllable, “Tony just spent a few days with you telling him you loved him and he was your best friend and spending all your time around him and asking him to pet him and then he finds out that was some magic bullshit, so-“

“He liked me better as a dog?” Steve said indignantly.

Natasha shrugged. “The only person who can answer that is Tony.”

“I was a dog. For a week. And he misses that?”

Bruce looked at him. “Go talk to Tony.”

He did.

Tony was in his workshop, wrist-deep in one of his projects that Steve knew was busy-work to make him look preoccupied to visitors. “You liked me better as a dog?”

Tony froze.

“How on Earth didn’t you notice? I thought- I thought we were friends,” Steve added.

Tony shrugged. “It was nice,” he said in a rush.

“What?”

Tony fidgeted uncomfortably for a long while before saying too quickly, “It was just nice hearing that I was your best friend and cuddling with me and spending time with me and I have to adjust to that not being you so I came down here.”

Steve cocked his head to one side, studying his best friend. “What?”

“You heard me, you listen to me talk enough to keep up,” Tony said.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yes, Tony, I heard you, but what… what do you mean? Do you want me to be different, is that-“

“No,” Tony objected. “It was just…”

Then Steve got it. “Oh.” Then the implications sunk in. “Oh.” What do you say? “Oh.”

“What’s with the triple oh?” Tony asked, looking up, and for the first time since Steve came down he looked into Tony’s eyes directly and he didn’t care how he was supposed to react when he found out his best friend was in love with him because his instincts were screaming at him to kiss Tony on the mouth so he did.

Tony didn’t react so Steve pulled away.

“Oh,” Tony said. “Oh.”

“That’s with the triple oh.” Steve said.

“Oh.”

“We’ve established that.”

Tony nodded. “Okay. So.”

“You’re my best friend,” Steve said. “But I like you like you. Like, I like you. More than just a friend.”

Tony couldn’t help it- he giggled. “We’re middle school girls on the inside.”

“I’m going to kiss you again,” Steve warned.

“Go for it.”

 

That evening when they had another movie night, Tony, Bruce, and Nat claimed the couch again. Steve was cleaning up leftovers and bounded into the room once Thor had put Natasha’s favorite Disney flick into the DVD. He flopped over Bruce and Nat’s laps, laying his head on Tony’s. “Pet me,” he demanded, butting his head into Tony’s hand.

“See? A puppy dog,” Tony said, but he wove his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair anway.

“Stop being a gross couple for five seconds, it’s starting,” Nat said, so Steve just pulled Tony down for a nice, satisfying kiss.

There were some perks to not being a dog anymore, after all.


End file.
